The pain bar is too high for women

I’m in my mid-thirties when I got an IUD insertion. I never anticipated the profound gap I’d discover within the healthcare system in that one act. Beforehand I was a little nervous about the potential pain, I’m not unusually sensitive, but I was wary. Even though I tried to get some anesthesia I was told that that wasn’t offered as an option. I deeply regret accepting that response – it seems the pain bar is too high for women. The pain was horrendous and there was nothing I could do about it other than lie, white-knuckled gripping the table. When I asked about pain relief again they told me to take paracetamol.

Speaking to friends about this – this isn’t a unique experience. It seems like women go through a huge amount of pain for routine procedures to the point of throwing up after them. How much pain do we need to suffer before we get relief – the pain bar is too high for women. Whereas men receive anesthesia for procedures like vasectomy, women are almost belittled by the health care system for wanting any relief, never mind an adequate amount of relief.

It makes me incredibly angry, not to be heard, to have my pain dismissed. To endure is not to tolerate. Just because pain is borne silently doesn’t mean it’s absent.

The solutions for me are twofold. First, a change to the healthcare systems and their approaches. They need to recognize the need for equitable pain management for all. We need to advocate, learn, and share – for a more understanding and compassionate future- but that just feels like such a long way off.  Maybe an ‘easier’ solution is a better understanding of women’s bodies, our pain thresholds and better contraceptive technology (somehow!?)

BY, USA