Where’s our women’s viagra?

Where’s our women’s viagra? I’m 48 and facing into perimenopause. My libido has dropped through the floor and I’m incredibly angry when I look around and see how easy it is for men to get their little blue pill. I have been to a string of doctors and the responses to my query about my libido have ranged from ‘it’s not hormonal, it must be an issue with your marriage’ to ‘this is how it is for women of your age’. There is sometimes an underlying sense of ‘hey, you’ve had kids, you’re older now, this is the endgame’. At the same time, my husband goes to his doc and without even asking is offered a little blue pill.

It is so incredibly frustrating (pardon the pun) that there is so little research or discussion about female sexual dysfunction. Of course, there is lots of research for male sexual dysfunction, but if you struggle with any form of female sexual dysfunction the response is a blank wall.

Worse, is that I never even knew this was part of the ‘change’ for women. I knew about the hot flashes, the mood changes yes – but never did I think there would be a change in my libido.  And I found convincing a doctor to give you HRT on that basis is pretty challenging.

I eventually paid out of pocket to get hormone therapy at a HRT clinic.

The solution is more openness around women’s health in general – but particularly our sexual needs. It’s boring these days to hear the old trope of men not getting enough sex in marriage and dealing with their wives hot flashes. Women have a sexual appetite – we need to be listened to and given proper treatment.  At the end of the day the big question is where’s our women’s viagra?

AG, United Kingdom